Where Does Encouragement Live?

Encouragement.....who needs it, right? Well....I sure do!!!!

I haven't blogged since Josiah was a little over a month old, and he is now 6 months old!! Where did the time go?! This truly felt like the fastest 6 months of my life. And, in those 6 months, my life has changed in so many different ways! So, I promised myself recently that I would try to blog more (I've said that before), because regardless of whether anyone reads my blogs...writing them is good for me. Perhaps I will never become a published author, but for me writing is therapeutic, in a way. I may not write every week, but I would like to write at least once a month...anywho...

I'm sitting here in my house, hoping that the baby will nap for longer than 30 minutes (his naps are still a little unpredictable at times)...for some reason, I feel like crying....Never mind...he's awake....be back later...

Okay, now I'm back...Why is it that sometimes it seems so much easier for us to tear others down, than to build them up? Is it our jealousy of others lives that drives this? Is this one of the things that stands in the way of us making and keeping close friendships?

I have a problem with this, keeping close friendships, and I often try to figure out why. I have wondered for a long time. Is it them or is it me...? But...I'm pretty sure it's me.

I think it has a lot to do with my own insecurities. It's hard to be around beautiful, talented, wonderful people without being tempted to compare them to yourself. It's also difficult to do so without finding that you often come up short in one way or another. After all, it isn't possible for us all to be the best at everything (more on this topic later).

Anyway, back to the point! Why don't we encourage more? Do we find that discouragement is a greater motivator? Does it somehow help us to get what we want faster? In psychology, they might call this positive & negative reinforcement...

For example, getting a speeding ticket has motivated me to stop speeding...,but wanting to drive safely to protect my son has been a far greater motivation. Similarly, a person (who will remain nameless) telling me I need to lose some baby weight has made me just angry enough to try harder to exercise...., but does it really motivate me more than the kind words of a friend who I've asked to help hold me accountable...., or the desire to be a healthier mom for my baby?.....No, I don't think so anyway.

I also wonder if another quality in being a good friend is being willing to invest yourself....investing your time, investing yourself emotionally by opening up, etc. Do we struggle to "invest" out of fear? Fear of trusting others with that investment. Fear of getting stabbed in the back. To be honest, I'm not really sure what I fear...,but I know that I fear something.

Lately I've been having a lot of strange dreams. I have one reoccurring dream in which I am trying to finish college, but I have one class that I keep failing. Somehow, I completely forgot to prepare for this class, attend this class, or submit any of my work. It's quite strange....,because I have never failed any classes in college...or otherwise. Also, I haven't been a college student since I received my Bachelor's Degree almost five years ago. I have other weird "new mom dreams" where I wake up afraid that I dropped the baby, or I'm accidentally smothering him, or I hear him crying when he's not.

The reason that I bring up these dreams is because I think that they demonstrate something about my thoughts, maybe about my fears. Maybe sometimes the things that we dream about are things that go through our mind that we're scared to bring to the surface...things we're afraid to vocalize.

Perhaps, I don't feel comfortable telling others that a part of me feels unworthy to be a mother. Or, that I'm afraid at some point I might mess my kids up terribly. Maybe I dream about failing school, because a part of me feels like I have left something in my life unfinished, or there's something in my life that I am afraid I will fail at. Regardless of what our fears may be...I think the point is that we need someone to share these things with.

This is where friends come in. More thoughts to come about friendship, encouragement, striving, and investing.



Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, (Philippians 2:1-5 NASB)