Okay, 6 a.m. again....although, this time I lay in bed crying for an hour and a half about the fact that my head, neck, jaw, and whole body hurt for some reason, the fact that I was supposed to get 3 more hours asleep but simply couldn't, and the fact that I have yet to find a job after almost 2 months of unemployment. I had taken medicine, used an ice pack, let my husband rub my head and back and hug me for awhile, and read some scripture before realizing that I was not going to fall back to sleep. I got up to find my book in the living room and read for awhile, but got distracted at the sight of my laptop...planning to blog......but, instead of blogging I wasted nearly an hour on the internet.
What does this prove? I am hopelessly distracted. I cannot seem to focus on one task for very long at all. I blame the modern media. I blame today's culture. I blame....okay, okay....no one to blame but myself. I am not incapable of focusing, but rather I choose to let myself be distracted. After glancing over the history list on my computer I find that I have been spending most of my (non-distracted) time looking for a job....and, failing. I am no sincerely concerned that maybe I really don't have any marketable skills. Admittedly, I found myself somewhat accidentally stumbling upon a job placement agency last week. Once I found it, and they called me to schedule an interview, I decided to go through with it....couldn't hurt, right?
I now find that these companies feel a bit like online dating sites. They lure you in with their attractive qualities and promises, and yet when it comes down to it you are not that much better off than you were on your own. There is the fact that they encourage you and build up your confidence to be successful, but really and truly you are still working with the same package....you. They do give you one particularly good thing though....the ability to market yourself. They agree to sell "You" to those who might be interested....those desperately seeking a "Single, White, Female with blonde hair, blue eyes, and excellent office skills (now...what man is looking for that exact description other then my husband...I do not know)."
Slightly changing subjects....being unemployed has allowed me to do some things that I normally would not have time for: cleaning and organizing my house, helping my husband more with his ministry, going on trips, visiting my family more, and...possibly what I've spent the most time doing....reading. I have been reading everything from Harry Potter to my old Psychology books. I have enjoyed every bit of it. Reading just because you feel like reading brings me so much more joy than reading for a grade ever did. Books provide me with so many different things....an escape from the world I'm living in, challenges to be a better person, learning more about who God is and who I am because of Him, and simply giving me a reason to live and live well.
I recently read Donald Miller's "Blue Like Jazz" and have since started reading his "Searching For God Knows What." I believe that the second has already proven to be as interesting as the first. Donald Miller makes me think in a way that I haven't done in quite some time. He challenges me and wakes me up. I have also started reading the second Harry Potter, "Chamber of Secrets," and Arron Chambers book, "Remember Who You Are."
Despite what I said about reading Harry Potter so that I could escape from my present world into a world of fantasy and magic, the story of Harry Potter and how he overcomes the obstacles in his life is actually quite inspiring. I can't help but think of many orphaned teenagers, or teenagers stuck in terrible home environments that would love nothing more than to be taken away to a new world where they are valued, appreciated, and loved. I recently read in "Chamber of Secrets" how Harry finds that the biggest difference between the Weasleys' home and the Dursleys' home where he grew up is that all of the Weasleys' seemed to genuinely like him.
Arron Chambers' book is truly something great. I would recommend it to anyone, and I am in fact recommending that my small group do a study on it after we finish our current book.
I'd better go get ready now as my friend Crystal and I have a date with some butter beer in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter....mmm, nothing like Butter Beer for breakfast. : )
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