I have been setting out this week to actually finish watching the show Arrested Development. I am now half way through Season 3 and enjoying it thoroughly. It's sad that that show was so short lived. I decided to make that title the theme of this blog, because I think it's a pretty intriguing concept. I do understand that on the show the title has a sort of "double entendre", but I am referring to the idea of one's maturity, intelligence, or mental status to "stop developing or growing."
Psychologists have stopped using this term, because they prefer to believe that research indicates that all people continue to develop in way or another. There is another term, however, for adults who retain traits that are seen more commonly in juveniles. To try and avoid sounding like I'm writing my doctoral thesis here, I'm gonna try to get to my point. The question that I have been pondering is, "How do you know that you're growing?"
My church is in the middle of a sermon series called, "Let's Grow." So, I suppose that in the midst of that I have been contemplating whether or not I am growing. I think this can be a real relative thing to try and answer. I mean, am I a different person than I was in middle school, high school, or my freshmen year of college....I would really like to believe so. There aren't too many people in my life that could honestly tell me if that's true or not.
My parents: Sure, they have definitely known me the longest, but the question of to what extent do they really know me....well, I'm not so sure. My mother and I have developed (HEY! I developed something) a deeper, closer, more honest relationship than we had in the past. However, she is and will always be MY MOTHER. Therefore, she is reasonably biased. She has been known to tell me things about myself like, "What's not to love about you?!" Oh, mother, if only you knew. And, she does know, I suppose.....she has seen me at some of my worst moments. I always find that the people who know me best usually bring out the worst in me, whether I like it or not. It just so happens that my husband is the one there when I have my "dark days", and so he tends to incur my wrath.
I quit my job, in part, so that I could grow. So that I could be "happier", so that I could be a better wife (find a long lost love for cleaning), be a better youth sponsor, be a better friend, neighbor, family member; so that I could find the "job of my dreams (funnily enough that wasn't supposed to include a talking mouse and a castle)", so that I could grow in my relationship with God,.......and cure world hunger, peace on earth, find myself, eat, love, pray, all that good stuff.
It turns out that it takes a lot more than just a change of scenery to make all those things happen. And, apparently, it takes a lot more than just a college degree to find a job. It seems like just one surprise after another. Am I happier now? Not necessarily. Am I a better wife? In some ways, yes, in others, no. A better youth sponsor? Not really. A better friend? No. A better family member? No. Have I found the job of my dreams? Not even close. How about my relationship with God? Well, that's one that is always in need of growth. I'm really not sure if it can be measured by charts or graphs or human guidelines. One day it seems like he's with me every step of the way, and another he's hard to see at all.
How do I know that I am growing?
1 Peter 2: 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
I'm just trying to remind myself of why the Lord is so good, and learn knew things all the time about God, myself, this world, and others. I want to be developing in all aspects of my life, but I don't think that all of those aspects tend to move at the same pace all of the time. Forgive me if I look like a bobble head, or Popeye the Sailor Man, because parts of me are growing and others aren't. I am trying, and more importantly praying that God will show me where I need to grow.
